Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Illusion of Permanence and Intentional Living

Think of your own mental landscape and the players that live there. If you were to take the time to observe and assess, you'd be amazed at how many different personalities your singular sense of self is comprised of. We all have a multitude of different characters that live out their entire lives inside of our brains; and just like in "real life", some get along brilliantly and some simply can't see eye to eye. There's typically an on-going chorus of different "voices" in our minds - thoughts and images, emotional reverberations from any number of experiences (pre-memory to future), the pull toward widely different priorities of action and focus, and the echos of other people's words, facial expressions and emotional projections.

Most hold tightly to their concept of self, and it's common to assume that we are consistent, stable, enduring entities. But in truth, each one of us is an ever changing process of the expression of possibility. There's nothing in our genetic make up that requires us to think, feel, act or interpret events in any particular way. It doesn't fit nicely into our rationalized world view, but the truth is, we're more verbs than nouns, more humans being than human beings.

This notion feels very threatening to most, is taken as pure gobbledygook by many, and is generally dismissed or ignored rather than considered. But, in fact, it's quite liberating to be freed from the bonds of our preconceptions and preprogramming. Rather than feeling confined within determined parameters and threatened by suggestions to the contrary, one feels an inherently expansive nature and sees her/himself as actively evolving into an ever improving force working for a greater good. Additionally, it brings heightened participation in life, as functioning on auto pilot, from within a protective fox hole, requires little conscious or active involvement.

As a simplistic example, one may have developed a habit in early childhood to put on the right sock and then the left, the right shoe, then the left. And this is the way it happens, every time, for life. It's just a habit. Our perceived selves are nothing more than collages of habitual actions. Thoughts, priorities, attitudes, etc. are just inner actions, which have also become predominately habituated.
We learn that repeated patterns in the world denote fixed constants. The sun goes down, it comes back up. I drop the ball, it bounces off the ground. We then apply the same train of logic to ourselves. "I've seen myself acting/thinking/feeling like this, time and again, so that's obviously how I am." Not so.

It would be silly to proclaim, "I'm just intrinsically a right sock first kind of guy". But it may seem perfectly natural to say things like, "He makes me crazy", "I always worry too much" or "I just can't resist chocolate". At most, recurring actions (external or internal) are just habits that we've grown accustomed to. You are not bound to being anyone or anything, either by your past actions, or by your preconceptions of yourself.

But most don't acknowledge this, so our way of living becomes like sleep walking, or like driving a vehicle, while watching a DVD on the overhead monitor. Lost in thought and emotion, fantasy and recollection, our bodies and words and energies are largely left to steer themselves, following well worn ruts. Exercising free will requires deciding which shoe to put on first, choosing how to react, consciously selecting the appropriate emotions to convey, deliberately picking life paths, intelligently selecting foods, etc.

One can't merely wish it to be different, but discarding habits isn't nearly as hard as it's made out to be - unless one chooses to cling, doggedly, to the existing notion of self, which contains the habits in question. Here, a little humility goes a long way. Nobody's all knowing, and some of what we think we know is dead wrong. Everyone's in this same boat. And thinking/feeling/living within this reality is both freeing and illuminating.

We all have the capacity to develop our free will, if we so choose. It's OK, go ahead and watch the DVD while the car drives itself, if that's what you think makes you happy. Just don't be surprised when you veer off course and meet that tree.

Then again, look at where the worlds come to, as a result of all the trees downed by generations of dozing drivers.

Well, it is just a planet and they're only living beings, and this fantasy flick has me so captivated ... or not.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Why all this fuss about quietude, anyway?

I know I tend to go on ad nauseam about clearing and quieting the mind. I often speak to the downside of living life inside of one's head; but, it occurs to me that, perhaps I need to address, more directly, the reasons why one might want to pursue such an ethereal endeavor.

The first and most immediate benefit of quieting the chatter box, is the sense of calm and peacefulness that embraces your being. When the past is put to rest, hope and faith granted to the future and what is, allowed to be what it is, we automatically feel connected to, and welcomed into, the flow of life's unfolding. True happiness isn't conditional, it just is.

When not distracted by our own incessant inner ramblings, we gain perceptual clarity as our ability to hold our focus strengthens and our concentration is naturally increased. This improves, not only our vision and understanding, but also our effectiveness in our actions and our confidence in ourselves.

When we're too enamored by our thoughts, our sight becomes very narrow. The harder we look at something, the tighter our field of vision becomes. With inner calm comes an ever broadening perspective. This gives greater clarity on any specifics, and a clearer overview of how the bits and pieces fit into the bigger picture. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, a wider perspective has the benefit of helping to clarify and re-order our priorities into a better alignment with our greater intentions.

How often do you sense someone you're talking to you, or find yourself, paying more attention to what you want to say, than listening what the other is saying. If we're able to let go of our sense of self importance we are able to actually be with our companions. To empathize and relate to others with genuine interest and compassion.

The greater world also receives little of our focused attention when the mind is abuzz with multiple conversations and mixed emotions. The world is really beautiful when we actually see it. Bonus.

Perhaps the most meaningful benefit of a quiet mind is our ability to hear that inner voice, which speaks to us in a soft whisper. This is the source of our intuition, inspiration, wisdom, compassion, insight and divine guidance.

There may come a point when the quiet feels not so much like a refuge, but more like home. A state where the self is still present, but relatively unimportant, due to a fuller realization of the expansiveness of our underlying consciousness. At that point, it's no longer so much of a pursuit, as it is, a way of life.
 

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

How to Add a Comment

A few have mentioned that they're unable to make comments.

If you click the article title, you'll get a page with just that article and a comment box below. It's open to other than "followers", but not to all. (Followers - makes it sound like I'm a cult leader, which I assure you, isn't my intention) I can change the setting to make it open for anyone if some are still unable to post. Please let me know.

I'd like this to be more of a discussion, so please do add your comments.

Reality Check

I suspect that the Arupa approach to yogasana isn't destined to become widely popular. It goes too much against the grain of the way people are accustomed to thinking, requiring a fundamental shift in self and world views. And, why would anybody want that? People go to yoga to benefit themselves, not to lose themselves.

Arupa yoga (Formless being) pushes yoga as union of body, mind and spirit - a phrase commonly used, but rarely taught in any meaningful way. There can be no union as long as it's seen as something for "me" to achieve. That very notion maintains the separation. Arupa encourages fluidity, even in stillness, and seeking variation that's right, not empirically, but in that moment. Most every other style/teacher instructs how the postures are supposed to be - fixed and regimented, ergo familiar and comfortable to a mindset built around the illusion of stability and permanence. Our minds are geared to label and organize in an attempt to create a solid and stable world view. This is, of course, quite practical on one level, yet delusional and debilitating on another.

The world is not as it seems to be, and we are not as we think we are.

As an example: Science proved, well before quarks, quantum mechanics and string theory were conceived of, that our world is far from solid. When seen on the subatomic level of protons and electrons, all of the physical world is quite unsubstantial.

To try to put it in semi-graspable terms: If a proton was the size of a basketball and its electrons "things" more the size of golfballs, the electrons orbits would be similar to that of the moon's around the earth. Basketball, golfball, well beyond 20,000 miles in between. This is proportionally what our atoms are made of. Mostly nothing. When we sit on a chair, we aren't actually touching it. Our electrons are repelled by the chair's, causing us to hover over it like a magnet repelled and suspended by another.

Facts like this may pass from one ear through the other without sticking at all. Some may consider it fascinating, ponder it for a while and then carry on as usual. Rarely, will anyone chew on this for any substantial length of time. Which is fine, really, because unless one is a physicist, it doesn't much matter insofar as we know. However, it should be noted that the presumption of solidity remains "factual" in mind, despite the minds own knowledge to the contrary.

It is similarly hard to digest that we are as insubstantial in mind as we are in body. Most will discount the notion as ridiculous, without giving it a first glance. Some will consider it an intriguing idea to contemplate for a spell, and then go back to life as usual. Very few will actually assimilate this knowledge and use it to reprogram their way of seeing and thinking.

The problem here is that there are real life consequences to ignoring this reality, for everyone and everything. Wars, poverty, environmental degradation, dismissal of the elderly, disproportionate earnings, inadequate education - all this, and much more, is a result of mankind's disconnection from the world, due to living in the isolation of a conceived world, within the individual mind.

As long as posture practice follows a prescribed path toward a predetermined configuration, it's a practice guided and preformed by the ego. The Arupa approach to yogasana is designed to promote inner quiet and inspiration, a dissolving of the self that allows movements and postures to take on lives of their own. It's intended as a practice of surrender, not accomplishment - of giving, not receiving - one dedicated to the whole, not the individual.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

My Birthday Wish




Eyes closed.

I wish that every nation, race and sect, every person, culture and community would develop and nurture, teach and display a sense of oneness with, and compassion toward, the planet itself and every living being on it, above all else.

Candles out.

Monday, December 14, 2009

















We don't own the earth ... We owe it.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Arupa Philosophy - in a nutshell.

Yoga's postures aren't merely feats to be achieved; they’re vehicles into a heightened attunement of the body, mind and spirit. If the body is thought of as an object to be manipulated, and limits as obstacles to be overcome, then struggles will arise. The body will feel threatened and expend great amounts of energy fighting against the desired movements, and imagined success will always be a distant goal. One can, however, develop a friendly partnership with the body, by blending the will with intuition and the body’s wisdom, and exercising patience and acceptance. Then an harmonious relationship ensues and practice becomes a joyous exploration of new territories, deepening sensations and broadening horizons.

A relatively "seasoned" woman on the mat next to mine in a teacher training a few years ago gave me, what felt like, a great compliment. She said she’d never seen anyone do yoga like me before - that it looked like I poured myself into my postures.

(We’ve gone from having actors and actresses, to everyone being actors; likewise, when I say yogis, I'm including all the ‘ginis as well.) Most yogis move into their postures like robots on fixed tracks, following the same path in the same way like musicians perfecting a piece of music the way it’s “supposed” to be.

I’m more of an improviser. I know the general form that the asana is aiming for and I feel my way into, and around, it patiently and sensitively. When I'm "in" a pose, there’s always an exploration happening. I feel where the prana wants to go, I seek to dislodge impingements, and I urge energy to infuse areas of stagnation. Sometimes the movement is deeper into the posture and sometimes it becomes another pose altogether. Some times the movements are so slow and small that someone watching couldn’t tell it was happening, other times it’s quite dynamic and active. And brief or long pauses interject themselves periodically. It's a very organic process.

It’s not like I do a posture and then go on break until I'm into another one. The entrances, exits and transitions are as much a part of the practice as is “proper” asana. As I repeatedly tell my students, it’s not about the outward configuration of the postures as much as it is about tuning into the inner experience, seeking out and following the instinctual guidance that arises. Increasing awareness is far more beneficial than increasing range of movement.

Our bodies are different from day to day; shouldn’t our postures be as well? With Arupa yoga, I endeavor to foster individual personal practices, in a group setting.

I don't consider myself an exercise instructor, but a teacher. I fully appreciate the benefits of asana and enjoy educating through the body; but, my primary goal is to teach the practice, not the postures; and to empower others to tend to their own well-being, on a holistic level. Ideally, practice doesn't stop just because the toes have wandered off of the mat - it's a way of life.

I seek to teach about anatomy and physiology and how they are affected by each posture and the overall practice of yoga. About personal and inter-personal psychology and how yoga and meditation can provide individual insights and glimpses deep within; and to discuss questions or issues of spirit, philosophy and oneness. I try to instill my students with confidence in their inner knowing, to remind them of their inherent worthiness and to encourage them to explore themselves and their environment, freely - with open eyes, an open mind and an open heart. I want them to feel, and fully understand, that it can be their choice to experience the world as a place of great beauty and joy - that what they receive is directly related to how they perceive.

Following imposed or preprogrammed rules and guidelines in life is not being responsible. Responsibility requires conscious, deliberate, heart-felt choices, at every step along the way. It may seem like a weighty prospect from the outside , but it's eminently empowering and uplifting to take responsibility for ones own life, how it is interpreted and how it unfolds.

Practicing yoga/meditation creates new neural pathways providing one with the fresh eyes necessary to see what is, as it is, the courage to accept it as such and the clarity and creativity to act accordingly. In this way, yoga begins to infuse and improve all of one's life, and even affects the lives of those with whom the practitioner interacts, on a daily basis.

Learning the postures and following along with a class is the easy part. Receiving and adhering to one's inner guidance is the real challenge - and the real reward.

Friday, December 11, 2009

"We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing."
- unknown

Note to Self

I've known people who have learned to get along in life, not by taking care of themselves, but by manipulating others into donating their time or money or food or love or shelter ... It struck me that keeping all the conflicting, custom made tall-tales and various personae (that are typical tools-of-the-trade) straight, from encounter to encounter, would be exceedingly arduous. Just how does one be a lumber jack and an astronaut at the same time at an inconvenient three way intersection, anyway?

As I surveyed from a wider perspective, I could see that my own predicament wasn't really all that different. It's just that my illusions were self delusions.

I spent my life collecting all these sheets and scraps of paper upon which I'd written notes to myself. "I like this." "That makes me sad." "I want to be more like her." "I'm good at this." "I've always wanted to do that." "He makes me crazy." "I'm on the right side." At this point, the scraps of paper fill virtually every corner of every room in my "house". Some are still there imposing their will, although I haven't seen them for years. Many contradict each other or are known to be fictitious. Yet, I still often catch myself going around carrying as many notes with me as I can, because that's what people are expected to do, in order to validate themselves to others.

We define ourselves by our ever changing and constantly compounding post-it collections, and present ourselves to others by showing off our very favorite quotes. We have spread sheets laid out to describe others around us, as individuals and as collectives. A whole wing of my house is packed with "notes-to-self" about how the world behaves, in relation to my scrawled wants and needs.

Ahhh. To let go of it all. To open the doors and windows wide, and invite the wind to howl through all of my corridors, to aerate each room and swirl through every closet, sweeping away all of my collected notions.

Imagine the openness and spaciousness and ease. Allowing the world to be whatever it is and whatever it will be. Accepting others without condition. Traveling unencumbered. Relating honestly, without need for defense or gain. Free to be whomever and whatever the moment asks of me.

What a relief. Feeling connected, welcome and warm. Enjoying the quiet. Basking in delight.

Home again. Home anew.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same."

– Carlos Castaneda

A Matter of Perspective

Resting in quiet presence could be likened to viewing the full experience of one's current environment from the broadest perspective possible. Immersion in thought would be like picking out a particular object within that environment and taking an enquiring look at it. Extreme or sustained focus, like using a magnifying glass to really get a sense of its minute details.

The broad view lets us understand the inter-related nature of our world. We learn much more about the intricacies of our world when we hone in on specific aspects, characteristics and potentials. However, a problem arises when we get fixated on viewing through the glass. Without the larger perspective that arises when we reside in silent presence, the woods gets lost for the trees, or the leaves. In this case, choices made become as sporadic as an aimless hound dog's, chasing after whatever scent happens to waft up it's nose.

It's not to say that one is necessarily superior to the other. Both require the other for the fullest understanding. Both are perpetually in need of fine tuning and balancing. It's rare for one to get mired in the stillness. The typical tendency is to get stuck with the spy glass glued to the nose. Therefore, balancing between the extremes, generally requires more practice at stilling the mind and seeing the world from a wider and longer perspective.

One might say that, ultimately, the most important practice is knowing what perspective is being taken and which is most appropriate, in each passing moment - which requires seeing from outside of the seer.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Open Secret

There's a secret that's floating through the air, sprouting up from the ground, swimming the deepest trenches of the ocean and bubbling up within each of us. It can't be adequately packaged or named or held in mind. It can only be felt and steeped in, as an immediate experience. It has no ambitions or judgments, no worry or will, yet it seems to drive existence, itself.

It can be very inspirational to hear or read the words from one with great vision and insight. It can clarify notions and spark inspiration. But to think that ingesting the words of another will bring full understanding is misguided. Full understanding must happen on a far more intimate level. In the long run, such outside teachings are best used to confirm the knowing that has been birthed from within and absorbed on a cellular level.

It doesn't take any kind of magic or special training to receive these insights. They're available to all who are open to, and accepting of, them. Some may be less articulate in attempting to communicate them, but much of what is unveiled can only be spoken of through metaphor, anyway. What's most critical is to absorb and integrate such lessons as deeply/fully/completely as possible, and let being and living in accord with them do the communicating.

The rational mind will always be with us and will always seek to fit our understanding into a nicely packaged box. This is fine and we needn't try to disallow it. In fact, it's counter-productive to "do battle" with one's self. We must, however, accept that the big picture will never fit into any box, and allow that there will always be mystery. Even the broadest non-verbal understanding will never be able to hold the whole picture, at once.

Accepting this and choosing to live harmoniously with the incomplete nature of our comprehensive capacity is the only way to fly. This doesn't mean that we should stop attempting to know it all. The evolution of consciousness, as a whole, depends on our continually striving for an ever clearer and more accurate understanding of our selves and our universe. And it will be further accelerated by our giving each other a "hand up", as we go.

So for the sake of eternity, we embrace our awe of the unknown, imbibe every drop of wisdom we receive and soak up each sunrise that we're blessed with. We're all curious children, babes in the woods. Let us accept this reality and enjoy our childhood as we slowly grow - independently, together.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Truth is in the Seeking

Our cognitive minds are very powerful and seek to dominate our awareness. When we think “me”, since we are thinking, we naturally assume that “I” am the thinker. But, in fact, the thinking mechanism is only one aspect of our being.

As I see it, truth is not so much a thing to be recognized and remembered, as it is a way of seeing and being.

Truth knows no agenda, and an honest seeker of truth looks, not to prove that anything is so, but to see clearly, and only, what is. The quest is to be receptive and open enough, from breath to breath, to experience the truth, as it is manifesting, in the ever-evolving moment. And to blend sight and insight with understanding to maintain a continually evolving world view.

This requires a stilling of deliberation and idol ramblings, and an acceptance of the validity of the logistically uncertain and un-provable nature of “knowing”. A trusting of instincts, intuition and messages from outside of the rational. An opening to Self. Allowing for mystery in life, and a willingness to being proved wrong. A union of inspiration, wisdom and knowledge. And a sincere desire to realize the unadulterated truth.

It may sound heavy, but it's a much weightier and more arduous task to lug around and defend an unwieldy and inaccurate fantasy of the world and one's self.

Surprise!

Meditation isn't a way into an altered state of consciousness, it's a way out of one.

Friday, December 4, 2009

On the Pursuit of Awareness

Personal "spiritual" awareness can only be achieved through individual internal pursuit. One can receive guidance into a practice of self exploration, but the treasures found therein present themselves uniquely for each person and can only be hinted at. They cannot be harvested, gifted or sold, for any price.

Entertaining the notion that reading and adhering to any religious or philosophical doctrine will yield self awareness, is like thinking that reading a recipe will please the nose and tongue, and sustain the body, in the same way that preparing and eating an actual meal does. No matter how brilliant the chef and how vivid the descriptions, there's no sustenance in vicarious fare. No matter how enlightened the author and how apt the analogies, it's impossible to communicate the experience of dissolving into oneness, and the understanding that it yields.

It would be easier to explain the sensation of slipping into a bubbling hot tub to someone who's never felt water before. And that would be virtually impossible. Words and cognitive thought are bound to the realities of space/time. Universal consciousness exists beyond such boundaries. It can only be experienced - not understood, captured or conveyed. This realization requires going beyond the self, and its needs and desires. It requires shedding everything we think we know and accepting a new paradigm of how we know.

It's possible to spell out actions and attitudes that create a good foundation for inner work. In fact, most need such guidelines. And communities built around aspirations of expanding awareness and nurturing good will are very beneficial. The problems lie in recruiting and recording, which take concrete promises and rigid conceptualization. Both of which effectively end up creating misdirection. It's very tricky to motivate and communicate to a mindset that's inherently unable to grasp the larger message.

Essentially, it takes two different languages. One that misleads, but that the rational mind can process; and one that strives to convey non-duality. One that speaks to the conceptual self; and one that speaks to the non-self.

The universe is fluid. We are fluid. And so, our pursuit and understanding has to be fluid, as well.
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, December 3, 2009

An intentional life.

 
We are, as a general rule, guided by our wants and desires. However, what we perceive as our desires are not necessarily of our own creation. More often, our parents, peers, churches or the media have instilled them in us. Which helps to explain why so many of them contradict each other. We become so focused on achieving these assumed goals and meeting our short term targets that we don’t even pause to consider the possibility that there might be a higher, more fulfilling agenda for us to pursue.

It's through clearing the slate, by attuning to our silent selves, that we come to know our deepest wishes – our sacred path, if you will. This requires dedicating time, not only for quieting, but also for deep reflection, in order to see behind the veil of imposed (and expected) goals. The logical mind, due to its desire for defined order and routine, has a knack for deceiving us. So, we must repeatedly spend substantial periods, as a life long practice, to ensure that we reach our conclusions, without the distortion of our preconceptions and adopted priorities.

It can be uncomfortable to admit to ourselves that we’ve been moving in the wrong direction, and to accept that our energy spent along that path has been for naught. When we begin to change our ways, it can also create conflict with others in our lives who have long held beliefs about who we are, what we care about and where we’re supposed to be going. But the alternative is to ignore our deepest wishes, which will inevitably lead to a myriad of negative psychological symptoms: confusion, anger, depression, fear, resentment, etc. These can then possibly manifest physically as hypertension, illness, arthritis, degrading eye sight or even something as severe as cancer.

Further more, the ideal goal is to become familiar enough with being in the present, that we can attain this perspective at will - eventually, continually. Through this, we gain the ability to act with genuine consciousness, moment to moment, rather than leading a life of programmed reactions. Once we’re practiced, it takes only a moment to ask our "higher selves" what the ideal course might be, at any time and in any situation.

The challenge then becomes a matter of having faith in our personal guidance system, allowing us to act accordingly. The directives we receive present themselves to us more like feelings than thoughts. It becomes a dance. A situation arises. We reflect on possible courses and outcomes. We look inside inquiring as to what feels like the appropriate response. We wait and feel for our guidance system's advice. Possibly, followed by further consideration and introspection. In the end, the cognitive mind is responsible to either initiate or allow any action.

Consider this scenario: A business traveler who flies across the globe on a regular basis, one day, inexplicably cannot bring himself to board his flight - the plane later crashes. There are many recorded accounts of people's “instincts” leading them to remarkable acts or insights, well outside of what their rational minds could have logically foreseen.

It can be scary to relinquish control to unknown and inexplicable factors. But once we're trained to really listen to that silent voice within, can recognize its unique "language", and endeavor to trust in the guidance that we receive, our lives become truly intentional and can grow more meaningful and fruitful, in ways that we’d never have imagined.