Don't Take Yourself too Personally

People fall prey to the idea that they are composed of their beliefs, thoughts and feelings. But these are just things that pass through our field of awareness. They're no more representative of a stable us, than are sights, sounds or anything else that passes through our awareness, via our senses.

“But thoughts come from within.”, one might say. Well, it does seem as though sights (et.al.) come from outside of us. Light reflects off of objects and shines upon our retinas where it's converted into impulses that travel to our brains. We only “see” 3rd hand translations of what's out there, inside of our minds.

One could conjecture, “Feelings recur time and again, and that repetition implies stability of being.” I could listen to the same piece of music several times every day and replay it in my mind, ad nauseam. Does that imply that it represents me?

Another argument might be, “I can generate thoughts or images of whatever I choose.”. We can certainly direct where and how we focus our outer attention; as well as, create tastes, sights, sounds, textures, etc. to turn our attention to.

“Well, thoughts and feelings exist only in my mind and are therefore uniquely mine.” All of our perceptions are shaped by our previous experiences, beliefs and understandings; and so, the world we live in is also unique to each of us. Partly because of what we focus on and partly because of how we interpret it. A tree, for example, might seem like a very consistent thing. But a lumberjack will see it as money, an animal lover as a playground for squirrels and birds, a gardener as extra work in the fall, an arborist will see its species and state of health, someone who's overheated will view it as a source of shade, while, to someone lost in thought or fixated on something else, it will be invisible.

Some might stipulate that we intentionally direct or create our inner lives. I've observed that, for the most part, thoughts, feelings and the like generally just happen to people. In fact, I think it's far easier for most to direct their outward perceptions than their inner goings on.

The one thing that does remain relatively consistent for us, is the awareness that all of these things pass through. However, it's difficult to claim ownership of it; because, when it's distilled down to its raw unadorned essence, there's no sense of individuality to it, at all.

Now, that awareness ingests all of the happenings of our lives through our body/minds. Maybe we're quite simply these sensory organs, the lenses through which awareness witnesses the passing of our time here. Our physicalities do enjoy contiguous existence, but they're constantly rebuilding themselves and never stop changing in make up and functionality. They go from infant, to child, to teen, to adult, to middle aged, to elderly, to on deaths door. They become exhilarated, sleepy, wounded, ill, hungry, stuffed, confused, alert, depressed, elated, sore, ecstatic and so on - all in the course of a single day. And every single cell is replaced, making them completely different ones, over and over, throughout the course of our lifetimes. Clearly, they're not the most stable things to hang our hats of self upon.

We do carry concepts of our selves, which change slowly enough that they may seem constant. But, of course, they're always adapting to keep up with the changes happening to our bodies and minds. The “you” you think of now is not the same as the one you considered to be your self last year, let alone, the one you harbored when you were a child.

It's been posited that we are our actions. Some habits endure; but again, actions change through phases of life, seasons, days of the week and shifting moods. So then: On Sat. morning I'm a shopper, but on Tues night I'm a teacher. When I see my cats playing together I'm a smiler and when I stub my toe I'm foul mouthed. When the weather's nice I'm a gardener, when it's inclement I'm a writer. (ad infinitum) Seems a bit ludicrous, doesn't it?

This leaves us with five, less than ideal, options, as we try to claim self definition. We can consider our selves the data that flows through our minds, the ever morphing receiver that processes the flow, the lingering, yet unstable, idea of our selves, our relatively random actions, or the insubstantial awareness that bears witness to it all. In any case, there really doesn't seem to be much of us to be found here, no matter how we look at it.

This isn't actually a problem, except that we seem compelled to keep everything clearly defined and somewhat orderly in our minds. But the truth is that we live in a fluid world where nothing, including our selves, is stable and consistent. Even our planet never stops changing - in mountainous ways, and stars come and go. We may have difficulty conceiving of it, the same way that a mosquito can't conceive of humans living for decades. But unlike the mosquito, we have the capacity to transcend our personal perspectives and to see the world truthfully. And, to feel the value of whole of the world in all its variety and phases of expression.

All of existence is in a constant state of evolution, and losing our fantasies of “solid and stable me” is the first step toward living honestly, contentedly and harmoniously, as an integral part of the motion of all being.

Or you can cling to the comforting illusion. It's up to you.

My advice? Don't take yourself too personally.