Listen Up

One of the most important times to be mindful is when talking to others.

Far too often, it seems as though people join in conversations, primarily, in order to speak. Some seek to build self esteem by making an impression on others, some feel deeply compelled to convey particular information, some strive to manipulate others - the reasons are many. Whatever the motivation, most people don't really tend to listen very well.

Minds wander or are too busy trying to figure out what thoughts to run through the mouth next, or are so impatient that they can't help but to blurt out their offerings in the middle of another's speech. Sometimes it's something completely unrelated and sometimes it's a response to the others thoughts before they've been fully delivered, which is kind of like watching the first half of a movie and then discussing its ending with imagined understanding. When I'm on the interrupted side in this scenario, it feels as dismissive as if the interrupter had just turned and walked away while I was in mid sentence, too impatient to allow me to finish or too uninterested in what I was saying.

Having practiced and taught exercises in active listening, I know that it can be a very illuminating and rewarding practice. Not only because one actually hears the others message, but because there's so much more to absorb about the other, when one decides to really tune in. And it's actually a functional method of meditation, too; in that, it requires prolonged focus and a selfless attitude in order to accept the flowing stream of words, feelings and ideas without judgment, evaluation or response.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation, try to give the other party's cause priority over your own. You'll find that it's far more challenging than it may sound. It'll probably take practice to get good at it. But I wager that, as you perfect the practice, your conversations will become more meaningful, you'll learn more about your self, world and friends and your relationships will grow much deeper.

It's a free and easily arranged experiment. You've got nothing to lose, so give it a try. Listen up and be there for the other side of the conversation. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at just how rewarding it can be.